Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
