we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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