You really coming over, don't trick.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
