Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
