Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
