i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
