once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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