hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
