He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
