we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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