but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
dude. I can hear the air.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
