Cold hands, warm shart.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Drunk is not a location!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
