I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
