it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
