When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
