normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
