Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
