so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
