Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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