I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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