i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
