I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
