i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
do herpes really smell.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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