Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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