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someone threw a dead crab at me
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
