did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
