her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
