Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
