Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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