And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize