I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
