Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
