you guys were way drunker than both of me
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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