Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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