I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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