Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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