That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
