You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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