So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
is that a dick in a sweater?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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