I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
