I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
