Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
