I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
