Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She needs sedatives and a leash
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
