I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize