If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
