the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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