I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
