Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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