I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
