i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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