Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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