I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
