Cold hands, warm shart.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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