the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
