I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
