What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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