I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
