Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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