i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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