I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
